


Jekyl and hide it

by scepticallyopenminded



Series: 15 day lyrics challenge - 2k18 [15]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek, Angst, Bad Parenting, Belonging, College, Gen, Happy Ending, Hopeful Ending, Insecure Lydia Martin, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-19 22:42:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17010543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scepticallyopenminded/pseuds/scepticallyopenminded
Summary: “I’m leaving,” Lydia tells her mom, who’s sitting on her laptop at the dining room table. From the angle Lydia can’t fully see the screen, but she’s pretty sure she’s shopping.“Hmm?” Her mom hums, eyes not leaving the screen.“I got into MIT. I’m leaving in August.”





	Jekyl and hide it

**Author's Note:**

> lyric from The Dresden Dolls' "The Mouse and The Model": "By counting your blessings you wind up in debt/It starts with your family and camps in your bed/You Jekyl and hide it when you could have left/You guard down your dress up/You must be upset"
> 
> I was struggling with this lyric until I listened to the song, then it was clearly a Lydia song. I went with this story.

_Five Months_

“I’m leaving,” Lydia tells her mom, who’s sitting on her laptop at the dining room table. From the angle Lydia can’t fully see the screen, but she’s pretty sure she’s shopping.

“Hmm?” Her mom hums, eyes not leaving the screen.

“I got into MIT. I’m leaving in August.”

It’s been weeks since her acceptance letters came, one from each place she applied; MIT, Columbia, Stanford, UCLA (just in case). It’s now mid-March, and Lydia’s preparing for her leaving even though she won’t be for a few months, now.

Finally, her mother glances up from her computer, painted-on smile on her face as she looks at Lydia with her dead eyes.

“Good for you, dear. I would expect no less.”

And that’s it, not that Lydia expected anything _more_ from her mother. She knows a lot of _her_ is an extension of her mom; her love of fashion, her need for perfection, even her ambition to an extent. But there are some days when her mother feels like nobody more than the woman who birthed her.

Now is one of those times.

“You tell your father yet?”

And why her mother always ends up here, Lydia knows but _hates_. She gulps.

“Not yet.”

Because as much as she and her mother aren’t close, it’s nothing compared to her dad. Lydia doesn’t live with him, only talks to him when the occasion requires it. She’ll tell him eventually, especially because he is helping fund her education, but it’ll probably be closer to June.

“Hmm,” her mother sings again, looking back down at her screen, and Lydia’s chin goes up as the prickles start in the back of her eyes. She turns, goes back up the stairs to her bedroom, and refuses to cry.

*

_Four Months_

“When’re you moving?” Stiles asks. Unlike her parents, all her friends have known for a while that she got into MIT and accepted their invitation. Unlike her parents, her friends actually know when acceptance letters come in for early decision, and pay attention to her life.

It’s lunch time now, and they’re seated at their usual table at a picnic table outside; her, Stiles, Allison, Kira, and Jackson. The others have a different lunch period.

“I can move into my dorm on August fifteenth. I’ve got a red-eye out of Redding on the fourteenth.”

Everyone at the table’s quiet, though Allison does reach up and grab her hand, which is laying on the table next to her.

The rest of them have all decided to stay in-state, and Lydia _gets_ that; being around pack, being around family, being around each other. But she doesn’t – sometimes she feels like she doesn’t have the connection to this place the rest of them do.

Also, well, _MIT_. But even with her hand enveloped in her best friend’s, her other best friend sitting next to her, the rest of her pack here, too. She still feels a little out of it, maybe like she doesn’t quite belong like they do.

*

_Three Months_

The phone is ringing along the line, too shrill for Lydia right now but she has to, at some point.

“The office of Bruce Martin, Jenny speaking. How can I help you today?” her dad’s PA answers, as usual. Lydia gulps, takes half a second to take a breath before answering.

“It’s Lydia.”

As there always is, there’s a momentary pause before Jenny speaks again.

“You’re being transferred now.”

Two more rings before her dad picks up.

“Bruce Martin speaking.”

“Hey dad,” she breaths out before she loses her nerve.

“Lydia?” There’s such a questioning tone in his voice, and it’s followed by, “What’s wrong?” Because of course that’s the only reason she should be calling him right now.

“Nothing,” she assures him, “Nothing at all. Just…wanted to let you know I got into MIT. I’m starting in August.”

“Of course you did,” he replies, and at least there’s some semblance of pride in his voice, “Boston, huh?”

“Technically Cambridge,” she shoots back.

“Alright. Well, send me the bill when you get it.”

They exchange goodbyes before hanging up, and that’s that. That’s it. She supposes she’s lucky, she’s got everything taken care of and not everyone has that privilege, but also. She just wishes her parents had a little more emotion when it came to her leaving.

She gulps, and tosses her phone on her bed. She ends up staring out the window for a while.

*

_Two Months_

“So MIT is on the Byrne pack’s territory. I got in contact with them, Alpha Byrne promised they’d keep an eye out for you,” Derek says. It’s about half an hour before pack meeting, the only people at Derek’s place her, Derek, and Stiles, who’s in the bathroom right now.

“What?” She asks him, confused as to what he’s on about.

“Just wanted to make sure you’re safe. Y’know banshees have a penchant for getting in trouble.”

“Not my fault,” she defends, and Derek laughs. It’s such a dramatic turn around from who Lydia clearly remembers him as, but it’s been a slow process, getting him to open up and be the alpha he was always supposed to be. Even in the face of a currently-stress-free and happy Derek, though, she’s still confused.

“So you found out who’s territory the school was on, contacted them, and had them promise to keep and eye on me?”

“Sure,” Derek agrees, shrugging like it’s no big deal, but Lydia’s mind is a little blown. She knows she’s part of the pack, but –

“What’re we talking about?” Stiles asks, plopping down on the couch next to Derek.

“Just telling Lydia that the Byrne pack agreed to watch out for her.”

“Ah,” Stiles grabs for the chips that are on the coffee table, “Did Alpha Chavez ever get back with you?”

“She did,” Derek confirms, “You and Kira are good to go.”

Lydia figures they must be talking about the pack down by Berkeley, where Kira and Stiles got into and are going, but she’s still caught up in this whole –

Just the thought, that Derek would do for her the same he’s doing for the rest of them heading off to college, it feels almost a surprise. But if Lydia really thinks about it, when have any of them ever made her feel like an outsider? It’s always been her, to herself, and –

“You okay, Lyds?” Stiles asks concernedly at the same moment the door slides open and Scott, Isaac, and Erica tumble into the apartment, laughing at something. She quickly nods at Stiles, and the arrival of everyone else is enough to distract Stiles and Derek from her.

*

_One Month_

“So right now we’ve got plans to come to _you_ for Thanksgiving, since you don’t wanna come back here,” Allison is saying, walking with Lydia up to Stiles’ front door where tonight’s pack meeting is taking place.

“Really?” Lydia asks, a little amused. Allison sends her a look – one she’s perfected after two years of friendship – and nods.

“I mean, we get that MIT is hard and you’ll have homework, but you’ll have to deal with us at least for a couple of days.”

“Who all?” Lydia asks as they get to the front door.

“Right now just Stiles and I, but everyone else is trying to see if they can fit a flight out there in their work schedules.”

“ _Surprise!_ ”

Lydia nearly _screams_ as she opens the door, and it’s just the realization of _what_ was yelled at her in combination with the fact that all the faces she’s seeing are her pack that stops her. Allison is laughing behind her, and Lydia glances around the Stilinski’s living room, which is decorated with balloons and streamers galore, a banner above the entrance to the kitchen that says “Bon Voyage!”

It takes her a moment to take it all in.

“What?” she eventually asks. Allison gently urges her into the house, closing the door behind her.

“Going away party!” Malia speaks up, and Lydia scans her friends’ faces, still in shock.

“For me?” she confirms. Everyone laughs.

“You’re literally going three thousand miles away,” Scott points out, and Stiles follows it up with, “We’ll miss you.”

“So Thanksgiving at your place, but we’re kinda hoping you’ll come home for Christmas,” Allison continues their conversation, and Lydia.

She doesn’t think she’s smiled so hard in _months_. She nods slowly.

“Yeah. Alright.”

She’s leaving, there’s no getting around that, but. Maybe it’s not as _forever_ as she’d thought before.

**Author's Note:**

> find me @[asocialfoxpaw](http://asocialfoxpaw.tumblr.com)
> 
> don't post on goodreads or like sites.
> 
> lemme know as usual if there are mistakes, I unfortunately did no editing on this but I'm _exhausted_
> 
> <3 until next time, lyric challenge.


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